Monday, July 31, 2006
hey Jude
I was thinking about alot of stuff lately......about life, about what it is I think I want from my life, debating on if I am ever sure what I want is accurate or if I am constantly fooling myself with others perspectives of what is good for me. Some days it feels like I have limited my options in life and I am on a very set path, where there are no paths of deviation...just a straight line to the end. I hit the other days too, where I have so many options being thrown at me that I am sick with all the choices in life, and don't care to choose any of the options. I have always been afraid of change in my life....I like to feel in total control all the time, and knowing what is coming next, cause I chose it - well that makes me feel within my own comfort zone. The summer feels like it has been out of my zone, and I really can't wait for the stability of the fall to return. When I was young I had a friend named Judy. I guess she was around cause I needed a friend. I don't think I was a totally lonley kid, but I guess having a friend like her allowed me to push all the bad stuff onto someone else. She was the one who had to deal with my stresses. Then I grew up and she disappeared....I guess you can't keep such an active imagination throughout your whole life. Now I handle it all. It was nice to have someone else to handle half of life.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
Wow, this post hit me, for two reasons...
1-i am currently trying to find and download hey jude by the beatles...a band played it at the bar i was at sat. night and it was awesome...maybe i can find their version? and hey jude is the title of this blog post...maybe it is supposed to be hey judy becuase of you childhood friend?
2-i got to thinking this weekend about life and stuff, and if i am going down the path i was meant to go down. i always think this when i am in another city. And i realized i love ottawa. and seeing my friend up there (who is now a full fledged doctor at 27!!!!), it made me think, she's acomplished all this, and what have i accomplished, should i be doing somethign else in life.
So i loved this post...becuase i was thinking the same things this weekend.
I'll talk to ya tonight or tomorrow
Amy
I can totally understand what you are going through. I feel like I have too many choices as well, and not sure what direction to take. Its natural to question yourself and wonder if its the right track, but the way I look at it is, if you are on the track, than its right. Everything happens for a reason, and where ever you are, that is the right place to be. :)
My friend told me when I had fear of uncertainty that I will land wherever I need to land...You will be okay...Hang in there.
Great post. I think that you will end up where ever you need to be... that will be the way it goes. Just have fun with it, and as hard as it is try and let the stress go.
Scott
Life is all about choices...even if you have what seems to be yur dream job you start thinking about what your next move could be....and should you take risks to achieve it. We all have to just keep on trucking. If not, there is always wine and chocolate ;)
Overall Sandee. you have always been on the straight and narrow. Minus a few bad relationship choices. We do stuff like that when we are young, right? lol
Anyways you will find where you are supposed to be in life. Already with your engagement and all,it looks pretty solid to me. Married to a great guy is something that I have and am Thankful for every day.
Sometimes not being in control of everything is fun. Just close your eyes and enjoy the ride. Live each day like it was your last,girl. For future reference I will leave you with a little quote. "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriage".
Sandee your getting deep on me..
I understand how you feel.. I went throught the same thing when I was between jobs. I'm sure once you get back to school, you'll feel more like your in the right place!
It's like Mel said, somtimes it's good to not be in control!
I agree with you about the stability of fall. Some summers really make you long for it. I know this has been a tough summer for you, and I think fall will be a great time for you, especially since you're starting teachers' college which is an exciting time.
Post a Comment