Reading a slightly EMO post by a fellow blogger got me thinking about my own friends, sometimes lack there of and how I feel about it. Friends can be odd things. I have lots in the grand scheme of it all and I do try to keep some sort of contact, even minimal and vague contact. I don't however have close friends who are both close in proximity and in friendship. I lack those people you can spill whatever to without judgment or grab a coffee with and just chill. Even with the friendships that have been long lasting, they do change, and I change which makes me sensor who I am most of the time with certain groups of people.
I have my high school/grade school friends who have been around for a long time. They have known me the longest, but no longer know me the best. I sensor a lot with this group as it seems easier a lot of the time. We all have each others best interests at heart and they are supportive, but I would not spill much to this group as a whole anymore.
I have a variety of friends from living in the north....I really only speak to 2 of them still. Those friendships are the kind that can go months to a year without chatting and pickup again like no time has been lost. The physical distance is too great to have more than the odd chat, but they know a newer version of who I am than my oldest friends.
I also have a variety of friends from university time....3 degrees gives a lot of class time to meet people. Some of these people are my closest best friends. None of them are closer than 5 hours away so even though we share a lot of what happens currently, there is no coffee date time.
Locally, I know some people. Locally includes the city a half hour away. I am still not in tight with anyone in this specific area which maintains a difficulty for me. I have friends from work, life, etc, but not people I would spill it all to. I am in a bit of a limbo looking for a group to fit into. I believe it is a very trying thing to move to a small town as an adult and look for groups who need a new member.
I had the grand idea this summer to host 2 backyard events. I still want to and if we get the yard in shape I will. 1> invite the neighbours on our street (16 houses) to a dessert night and drinks. Something easy, casual, but also friendly. Most on this street are nice, but it never goes past chats on the front lawns. 2> invite friends of both my husband and I that we never get a chance to see, catch up with, hang out with that live somewhat locally. Put the effort out there to maintain or build better relationships.
The first one may be more realistic than the second.
2 comments:
Fine, stop begging, I'll move north.
I'm still working on either a) fancy pod that will zip me up there within seconds or b) direct hwy from my place to your with no speed limits and no other cars allowed on.
I do wish I lived closer, there's so many fun things to do up there. you know, hiking the falls and falling in!
It's weird to see how distance/time/circumstances change friendships over time. I know it was my post that precipitated this post of yours.
I'm lucky in that my job has gained me a lot of new close friends. In fact, I would say that two of my top closest friends are from work and I'm so lucky to have them. I think teachers tend to bond closely together, and the fact that we've worked together for so long helps.
I wish that I lived closer to you, or even had a car so I could come visit. I will make it to North Bay some day, I guess I'm just procrastinating until someone offers to drive me.
I hope that your party plans go well!
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