i often thought that i may in fact be soulless. not that i am mean and empty more than the norm, but that the thing inside you that makes you recognized by society could in fact be missing. i have in fact, one time, although in my mind only and not on paper, sold my soul of sorts for a B Ed degree, but this could now be revoked since my part of the bargain was reneged shortly after, and i assumed said degree would have been useful and it has not been at all. any deal made with me often has fine print and added clauses which are added as seen fit for my own survival. anyways, back to being soulless..... i am beginning to think that i easily slip off the main grid of life and have become the most unmemorable person not including johnny depp, who for the life of me has the most mundane face ever. i feel as though i am constantly reintroducing myself to the same people over and over, i am constantly reminding people i exist, and for the second i stop to breathe i slip away again. it makes the job hunt near impossible when your name is never on the tip of anyone's tongue. i may have to start a new life goal that consists of people remembering my name and when using it in their conversations, others actually knowing who it is they refer to when I am spoken about. i don't need to be famous, i just need to exist outside my own head. i may also be soulless in one other way - - sensor doors do not open for me, or they open last second as i walk into them. not occasionally, but all the time, and everywhere. i am not picked up on the sensor detection grid either.
back to the said title....and reason to post today. my heart was ever so slightly warmed at an act which was caught once again by the local paper. (link not provided cause i was slow to post) local students had been gathering food for a thanksgiving food drive. this is something i always participate in, as no family should ever go without an opportunity to have a thankful moment among loved ones. the children gathering the food brought it all to their school and then made a human chain of students all the way to the food bank to which they passed each item hand to hand all the way to the people who needed it. they took the simple act of collection and made it meaningful. the idea that it took a community of children to make this effort possible and that the food passed along connected so many people was really nice to see. i will never tire of reading good news.
2 comments:
Some comments:
1) You are definitely not soulless nor heartless.
2) I can't understand how people can't remember you. I think you are very memorable. You wanna hear unmemorable? I've been working at the same school for almost 5 years, and a staff member just called me "Ms. Science" the other day. (see my blog) I know that the job hunt is frustrating, but I think it's great that you are supplying, and the more you supply, the more you will be remembered.
3) Johnny Depp does not have a mundane face!!!!
4) That heartwarming incident you wrote about is awesome!
5) You are awesome! Don't forget this!
i believe you might be soulless because i've often thought that i am. it stands to reason that if one of us is, both of us are. maybe not even soulless but devoid of normal feelings and emotions - only able to feel things to extreme points or not to feel them at all. at any rate, dont believe anyone else, we're both soulless monsters - thanks mom and dad :) ... maybe just thanks mom.
im glad you enjoyed the good news - i always prefer the crazy news, like when a truck carrying chicken blood spilled it all over downtown st.marys and the downtown core had up to two inches of blood flowing through the streets. sidebar - you teach people how to treat you - dont let them forget you - i never do. you have a big personality but i think you let that be dwarfed by a fear of failure when in professional situations. let them meet and hire sandee, not sandee lite. just a thought.
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