the same thought has continued to echo in my head for weeks on end now. i still have a cheated feeling for my 30th. i feel like it passed by with out acknowledgment on almost all levels. this is not to say it was ignored in total, i was wished happy birthday and it was brought to light in a way, but i had it hyped in my head and feel like imagination failed to meet up with reality. i am not a cake eater in the literal sense but i wish i had blown out a candle to make a wish, i wish i had opened a present that was wrapped up with a bow, i wish i had gone out to great night to celebrate.
is it possible to recreate a missed moment? i thought maybe it was and I gave an open mind for the opportunity to present itself and yet it never did. i know i have a night planned with a few friends coming up, but i still feel like another glass of wine and a late birthday wish will just reinforce the missed moment more than celebrating it.
i also wonder what role i should have olayed in making it what i wanted. i felt that because it was a birthday i didn't have to make the plans or be active, but staying passive left a pit.
i fear the next big day is 40 and it basically makes me vomit. it is a gross thought that i will not get another chance to have a big moment until a number that disgusts me.
1 comment:
Oh, hon, I'm sorry that your 30th was anti-climatic. I think most "big" moments in life tend to be. They just go by and you don't really realize that they happened.
I think that it's more important to focus on all of the great little moments that you have each and every day, as opposed to worrying about big moments. They add up to be more than any big moment every will be.
I'm looking forward to seeing you next weekend though! :D
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