I was in a small blog slump. I blame 2 things > the first is my holidays. they made me unmotivated to be an active participant in life. the second is school. it sucks my time dry.
THE RESOLUTION
I decided that i would try and 'get healthy' this year. Like everyone else in the world, i am not content with how i treat my body. i decided AGAIN that this year would be the year. I have done it before. when i went on my trip to central america i was in the best shape of my life. i felt good, i was tonned, i had energy and best of all i was happy. these are all things i want back in my life. I know this is a realistic goal for me, but i need to get the motivation to get there. So far i have again modified my diet towards a healthier choice. Meat is almost gone out of my diet, and if i knew more about cooking healthy veg meals - it would be gone. Unlike most - my reason is environmental, not animal friendly. I love milk and i drink more than most - - even going veg - this would be kept, but i have reduced it from 2% in the fall to 0%. I am hoping that I can get to the gym with some class mates 3 times a week to complete the body healthy. Reviewing this all, i noticed that 'get healthy' means more to me. I want a mind,body and spirit healthy year. I am not sure how to achieve this yet, but it will be part of the journey. I do enjoy meditation and yoga and would love to find a way to incorporate them. My spirit to me, means my self wellness. I need to focus on getting myself at a constant stable state in life working towards obtainable goals. I fear that i am too unmotivated to go for this resolution, yet i know that i need to make a 180 with my life right now.
LIFE
as i mentioned above, i need to eat less cake. I am a cake eater in life. I always worked by the moto: why have cake if you can't eat it. I need to be realistic with what i ask of others, especially those close to me. I am the type of person who feels that others should be doing for me, without me doing for them. I feel the need to have constant acceptance from everyone around me, and struggle with the need to always belong. I am aware of these issues, not so aware of the solution. I do know that there are a few things i need to let go of, and get them out of my life. the release is definatly the hardest part. I have lived with somethings for so long, that even though i don't use them, i find it hard to envision living withiout them. This includes friends. An evetual spring cleaning will be spiritually beneficial.
FRIENDS
i talked to a few old friends this week. i hate how they seem to slip away. i spent so many hours with them, building bonds that seemed unshakable, yet they break so easy. I feel like i watched some of them go, and thinking how easily t could have been prevented, yet there they are - gone. one friend is driving through north bay in a few weeks, on a move from the east coast to the west and will be stopping by. i am super excited to see him again. we were close and i miss it. one friend asked me to visit and it broke my heart to not have the money to do so.
i have been meeting alot of new friends this year at school. i seem to keep distance with them though. they don't know me. i feel like it will just be one more thing i loose in april. or something i watch slip away later.
SCHOOL
i love being a student. if it wasn't such a poor life choice, i would be that when i grow up. i love being challenged and pushed and exhusted. i love showing someone that i can accomplish projects that seemed impossible. this year was a let down for me in that regard. this program is not challengin my mind, only my time. i really wanted this year to be deeper. i feel like teaching was diminshed this year in some aspects by this course. i want to be so much more as a teacher and so much more to my students. i have never been so passionate about anything like i have been about teaching. i guess i was hoping this course fed that passion.
6 comments:
1...drink more alcohol, it makes you and everyone else look better, until you get pictures back of new years and realize that you look horrible in every picture (i blame the rain-cuase my hair was stupid in all pictures)
2...you won't be able to get rid of me, no matter how hard you try. i will still visit you in every city you choose/end up living in. so try to pick somewhere in australia.
3...when you are a full fledged teacher you should make them do projects that are a challenge to mark, that way you still are challenged.
Trust me, once you make the switch from 2% to skim, you will not go back. I can't drink 2% at all... Even 1% is hard for me. It's just a matter of getting used to. I've started the healthier eating kick too. I've gone 5 days without falling off the wagon, so that's good.
Remember these words: teachers' college is just an annoyingly long hoop to jump through. I hated it hated it hated it because I felt it was pointless busy work and I had no passion for it. I had a nervous breakdown before my 1st practicum - I honestly thought I might as well drop out because I hated my classes so much. If I hated the classes so much, maybe it was the wrong career for me. However, 1st day into first practicum, I was a happy woman. I loved it. So... just remember - it's an annoying hoop and try to just relax as much as you can.
Hey girl I cant say I have ever seen the insecure side of you. Highschool you were always the totally in control one with loads of self esteem.
Just curious about one thing though, which friends are you referring to doing some spring cleaning?
Sorry I had to re-post, there were to many spelling errors and I knew I would hear it. Plus I forgot the bottom part and it has a sentimental piece in it
I am going through the same motivational issue in regards to working out. I recently bought an issue of Women’s Fitness Mag and it had an interesting workout routine in it which was very different from what I had been doing for quite some time. I decided to follow it and found it to be a new source of enjoyment. It's actually alot of basic weightlifting moves which really help to concentrate on form ect.
So bottom line is, maybe you just need to change some stuff up. Especially if your finding school boring...
I would just like to say I find blogging to be a good way to keep up with friends you don’t see often. I believe if you are really good friends with someone, you won’t forget them or what kind of friend they are. There are a lot of people whom I don’t see often enough but I know I can still pick up a conversation with them after not speaking for months. And I would still take a bullet for them!
Good luck with your resoultions!!
I vowed to get healthier this year too! It worked last year, so hear's hoping....to both of us!
I miss being a student sometimes...not as many things to worry about :) (Our assignments were fun, so not much worry involved there)
Friends are funny things...but it's always good to know you can still keep in touch withthem even if it isn't as often as you would like.
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